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( When things get just ducky ) He said, "Welcome to Heaven, gentlemen. I'm sure you'll be quite comfortable here, but I must warn you that we do have our rules in Heaven. If you break them, you'll be punished. The main rule is, NEVER step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, then they all quack, and it just goes on and on and it gives me a terrible headache." They looked at each other - that sounded simple enough. They passed through the Pearly Gates and were surprised to find there were ducks everywhere! Millions and Millions of ducks! Sure enough, in no time at all, Jake stepped on one. The duck quacked, then they all quacked, they made a terrible racket and it just went on and on. Pretty soon along came St. Peter with a terribly homely woman in tow. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." He chained the homely woman to Jake and said, "You will be together forever now," and walked away. Sometime later, despite his best efforts, Johnny accidentally stepped on a duck. The duck quacked, then they all quacked and made a terrible commotion that just went on and on. Sure enough, along came St. Peter with an even homelier woman. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." With that, he chained the woman to Johnny and said, "The two of you will be together for all eternity," and walked away. Well, GEORGE was very careful not to step on a duck and managed quite well. One day St. Peter came along with a drop dead gorgeous blonde. He chained her to GEORGE and said, "You will be together now and forever more," and walked away. GEORGE exclaimed, "WOW, I wonder what I did to deserve this?" "I don't know about you," said the beautiful woman, "but I stepped on a duck..."
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